Let’s be honest, mealtimes with children aren’t always smooth sailing.
And most toddlers will go through a fussy stage when sometimes they may just refuse to eat what is put on their plate.
Perhaps the weaning journey was a dream and they were eating a wide variety of food, and all their vegetables, then suddenly this stops.
Children’s dietitian Dr Kirsty Porter, from Nutrition4Kids, revealed her top tips for helping fussy toddlers in Be’s parenting podcast, Is This Normal?.
Kirsty said infancy is one of the most rapid periods of growth in terms of development and nutritional requirements, so your baby may appear to eat more and a greater variety before they become a toddler.
When they hit one, Kirsty said their nutritional requirements can decrease a lot and they don’t eat as much.
“That is normal because their nutritional requirements have decreased and their appetite decreases and that’s why they tend not to have as many food choices as they have in the past,” she said.
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Kirsty said it is then about shifting your expectations of what is a good meal or good portions for toddlers as it can be different to what we think.
When it comes to tips for making mealtimes with toddlers a stress-free zone, Kirsty said pressure was the biggest thing toddlers do not like.
“Pressure is the biggest thing that kids don’t like, so as soon as you try and stress or push them to eat foods that they don’t like at mealtimes or at snack times, that switches off their appetite because they just don’t cope with pressure,” she said.
“Also when it comes to toddlers in particular, food is one of the few things in their life they can control so that why they are all about pushing the boundaries and seeing what they can do. They know if they play up and say to mummy, no, no no, they realise it’s almost like a game and mealtimes I very often say will become a battle field.
“It is all about them trying to control and assert their behaviour. My top tip is establish what your role is as a parent and what your role is for the child – and sticking to that and having that family environment where meal times aren’t stressful, where there is fun – there’s no pressure.”
Kirsty said all of our appetites change every day, depending on our mood and other factors, and that is the same for toddlers – some days they will eat more than others and that’s OK.
She said to think about the overall picture of what they have eaten that week instead of focusing on the one day.
Her other piece of advice was not to over praise children at mealtimes.
“That can switch off their drive to eat and pick certain foods, so don’t give too much praise but also don’t be too negative and never force feed your children to eat because that affects their pressure and switches them off,” she said.
Kirsty said it can be an area a lot of parents go wrong as they think they are doing a good thing praising their children when they are eating but it can be one of the worst things you can do.
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“My campaign is mealtimes are neutral, it is very much about sitting together, you have fun, enjoy the food and there’s no pressure, no expectation,” she said.
“If they refuse the food, if they don’t want to eat anything, or very limited amounts, that’s OK, you take the food away and you don’t make a big deal. If they didn’t eat particularly much then at the next mealtime or snack you would try and encourage them to eat more at that stage.”
Kirsty said another top tip was establishing a good routine in terms of times for offering snacks and meals and also said she is in favour of family meals and parents eating the same food as their children as she said you are their role model.
“I am very much everybody should be eating the same meal and if your kids see you eating those foods they will trust and accept that those foods mustn’t be that bad, they are safe foods for them to eat,” she said.
“You have to learn as well to trust your child, we all have an innate ability to self regulate our appetite and intake and that’s why sometimes as parents when you serve up big portions you kind of take away from the children and they feel they have to eat.
“Another one of my tips would be not to overload their plate because a big plate can be very overwhelming for them if their appetite isn’t that great that day. They think, oh mummy and daddy expects me to eat this amount of food, that can switch them off as well.
“If you can serve it family style, so just have big serving bowls in the middle of the table, that way their is no pressure or expectation and they can help themselves or you can help them pick the foods they want. It is also an excellent way to introduce new foods.”
To hear more great tips on how to encourage a healthy relationship with food for your kids listen to the full episode.
Series 2 of Is This Normal? is packed with advice from experts on a wide range of parenting topics.
There are six episodes now live covering sleep, pregnancy in the pandemic, first aid, breastfeeding, play and nutrition.
Listen and subscribe to Is This Normal? on Spotify, Google Podcasts, ApplePodcasts and Deezer.
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