This Morning’s Vanessa Feltz and Phillip Schofield seemingly sided with a married man as they dished out relationship advice on Tuesday’s show. But the caller, Denise, may not have got the response she hoped for.
Josie, Phillip and Vanessa took a call from Denise who explained her problematic relationship dilemma with a married man. Denise told Phil, Josie and Vanessa: “So I’m in a new relationship, been in it for a little while. The gentleman I’m seeing is still legally married but he’s separated from his wife and he wants to tell her that he is leaving and filing for divorce but he’s frightened that she is going to flip out. So I just want some advice on how I can help him and support him through that without feeling like I’m pressuring him.”
While Vanessa pointed out: “I think that it’s quite clear that you want him to tell her as quickly as possible so you can move on openly with your relationship. You really want to. But unfortunately this is the one thing that is completely out of your control.
“It’s his marriage. It’s his decision. How he tells her, when he tells her – and I know you’re not going to want to hear this – but if he tells her. Because you never can tell when you embark on a relationship with somebody who is still technically married how seriously they are really taking you, whether they really are going to leave their wife and make it known.
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“Whether they are just feeling their way to see how they actually want to proceed. You don’t know that so obviously you want him to say ‘I’ve met someone else. I love her, I don’t love you. I’m leaving, goodbye’ and start his new life with you free and clear and in the open air. The question is what does he want? And from what I gather, you’ve only been together a very short time. How long have you been together now?”
After Denise explained they had been together “just over a month”, Phillip looked shocked.
“Denise, I’m so sorry, but it seems a bit unfair,” he said. “There are massive machinations to be done within that relationship. If you’ve met only a month ago, I know you’ve met at work, but that’s a lot to ask someone to blow everything up in the space of a month. And him being hesitant is maybe being quite thoughtful towards his wife.”
Denise added: “And quite normally really. And I think the reason you phoned in is you were hoping that I would say to you this is what you do. Do this, this is the formula, tell him this, behave like this and then he’ll tell her and then you can enjoy your relationship guilt-free but I can’t give you a formula for him to end his marriage. Of course I can’t. Even though you want me to, I just can’t.
“This is something you are going to have a lot of patience [with], a lot of understanding, you’ve really got to wait and see what happens. But I think many people watching this morning will think – and I don’t want to break your heart or anything like that – but there’s no guarantee that this guy is going to end his marriage completely for somebody he has only know for a month. I don’t think you can rely on it.”
Phillip Schofield dishes out relationship advice on This Morning
(Image: ITV/This Morning)
Phil suggested: “But also would you be prepared to give it a little bit more time for him to realise what it’s about to mean for him and his wife.” But Denise had some firm advice. “I really would but ideally, of course, in an ideal world, you would say to him ‘listen I really feel for you and obviously we’ve really fallen in love but I don’t want to carry on this relationship behind your wife’s back.
“You’re actually committing adultery with me and it’s not something I want to entertain so when you’ve ended it with your wife and when you’re honest and clear and decent – and also you’ve shown me you are treating her properly, you’re not just walking out on her in a horrible callous way – then I will consider a relationship with you.
“But now skulking about behind someone’s back, breaking another woman’s heart, lying, don’t fancy any of that so I’m not doing it. That would be the ideal thing to do I think.”
Josie remained tight-lipped throughout but told Denise: “And I would also say to Denise know your worth. Know your worth in situations like this.”
This Morning viewers were also keen to have their say on the dilemma.
One Tweeted: “If you’re with a married man I’ve no sympathy whatsoever. And only been with him a month? He’s not gonna leave his wife. Wake up!!”
Another added: “This woman is deluded. She’s known a married man a month and seriously thinks he’s going to leave his wife for her. Imagine falling for a line like that. Dude just wanted an affair, love.”
A third wrote: “I have never wanted to shake someone head like I did with this caller dating a married man #ThisMorning also acting like his wife is at fault.”
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